Holy s*%t

The awkward moment when you realize.. Wtf, I have TWO kids?

Yeah. That shit hits me everyday. Mainly when I'm trying to pee for the first time in 17 hours and there's a toddler knocking on the bathroom door and a two week old screaming in her swing for boob. Yes. A two week old.

Last time I updated on the belly I was barely pregnant. Ok, not barely. More like.. 'Hmm, did she have a big lunch or is she knocked the F up' pregnant. I think I was 24 weeks. Well, folks, since then I have sufficiently baked and birth a healthy baby girl named Stella Faith. I shall tell the extravagant tale of her birth another day. In the mean time, let's discuss what life is like with two under two.

Let me just say I love when little old ladies come up to me and point out the obvious:

"Oh, how precious. Newborn?"
"Yes. Two weeks."
{insert 'don't extend that wrinkled old lady hand, Ethel, or I'll bite' face.}
"And this little one is yours, too?"
{Oh, you mean the rabid toddler? Don't let her cute ringlets fool you.}
"She is mine. She'll be two in November."
{Did I mention she's for sale? ....kidding. Sometimes}
"Oh, my. You're going to have your hands full!"
"No shit."<- actually I don't say that, but I'm thinking it. I usually just smile and nod and pretend that I totally have my crap together and didn't forget to bring wipes or an extra newborn size diaper for the 14 day old shit machine.

And I have forgotten quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. Packing for two? Not so easy. Especially when you're half way out the door and remember you forgot to brush your teeth... & you're *this* close to saying screw it but then decided that the general public may not appreciate coffee breathe at 3pm - because let's face it, getting out before nap time in the first few weeks just isn't going to happen.

I only speak the truth here, friends. So I'll be honest and say showering has become a luxury. I'm not proud to admit I've picked sitting my puffy ass on the couch over bathing more than once since August 20th. But... There is something magical about seeing my girls together. Layla has been the best big sister. Attentive. Protective. Never jealous. Ok, I'm lying: jealous once when I made the mistake of wrapping Stella up in Layla's favorite blanket.

Anyway, I'm going to make this blog public again. As of right now. I documented so much of LG's life and I really should do the same for Stella. Except I see myself documenting the antics of having two girls under two and how we'll shit butterflies and fart sprinkles while wearing tutus and bows the size of our heads. Because having girls is THAT much fun. Even when little old ladies named Ethel tell me I'll have my hands full.