Co-Sleeping

You either love it or your hate it... or you have no idea what it is (and yet will probably find yourself doing it at some point).

We fell into natural parenting by default. A mixture of an anxiety ridden mother and a baby with reflux lead to me becoming a breastfeeding, baby-wearing & co-sleeping mama. The co-sleeping started in the hospital. For some reason I couldn't bare the thought of Layla being in the tiny bassinet at the foot of my bed. I had no idea if she was hot, cold or even breathing. So, to keep myself sane, I moved her into bed with me. Every time a nurse would walk into our room they'd look at me and ask, "why is that baby in bed with you?" Why? Oh, just because I'm a freak. But in reality, it's hard to go from carrying this wee little baby for 9 months to having them out in the big bad world.

When we got home the co-sleeping continued. I'd put LG in her cradle, but the anxiety and thoughts of something happening to her kept entering my mind and keeping me from sleeping. Besides, we both slept better and for longer stretches when she was next to me. I was told later that babies do not make the separation of themselves from their mothers until around 3-4 months, so of course it made sense that being close to me helped her sleep. She was then diagnosed with reflux and the only way she would sleep was upright on my chest. She'd sleep there for 4 hours at a time, which totally beat hearing a 1 month old cry for any extended period of time.

I always knew the benefits of co-sleeping, but in the States co-sleeping is looked upon with a fairly negative attitude (& in my opinion, those with a negative attitude don't know the benefits. Especially those who say that babies are at a higher risk for SIDS. It has been proven that babies who sleep next to their mothers are at a lower risk, as the mothers breathing stimulates baby to breathe). For me co-sleeping has been the easiest because I'm nursing. When little Layla is hungry all I have to do is roll over, lift up my shirt and she eats. It's a win-win really because we both pretty much get a full nights sleep. Now that she is approaching four months people have been telling me we should make transition from my bed to her crib or I'll be sorry later. I'm stuck. Hubs who was all for co-sleeping in the beginning is now on the couch & wanting his bed back, but he was kicked out of the room for snoring - so he will probably remain on the couch regardless :x

What is the best age to remove a co-sleeper from your bed? Layla still has at least one midnight feeding and I don't see her cutting that feeding out anytime soon. I also notice that when I get out of bed, Layla knows almost immediately and wakes within minutes and usually screams in a way that sounds like she thinks she's been left alone. What are the signs that a little one is ready to go into their own bed? When does co-sleeping (or does it ever?) turn into dependent sleeping for both mother and child? There is nothing more comforting to me than sleeping face to face with my little girl, but is that selfish of me? Am I reenforcing dependent behavior at an early age even though co-sleeping children tend to be more independent in toddlerhood? Do I trust my own maternal instincts or Western culture?

These questions are big for us and I'm not entirely sure I can answer them right now; actually, I'm not sure I want to answer them at all. I suppose the only thing I can do is play it by ear... like everything else.