First off, I've been feeling like shit covered shit lately. That makes me a moody bitch. If feeling like asshole doesn't make you a moody bitch, congrats! You suck. And you're probably lying.
Moving on - since Layla turned one she's decided that whining is her new hobby. I can't put her down without her having a full freak out session complete with screams like I'm about to leave her. This means my house is a hotmess and I smell because I haven't showered. She also refuses to nap which makes a cranky toddler even crankier. Awe-some! Toddler for sale - priced to sell.
To keep her sitting still for longer then a fucking half a nano-second, I bust out the cookies. This is how I know I suck at raising another human life: I feel myself about to lose my temper so I sugar my kid up! Makes perfect effing sense. Cranky kid who won't nap? A sugar high will fix that! But Jesus, it's 2pm and I still need to brush my teeth.
I've also used what some call baby jail (aka crib) to put her in when I feel like I'm about to become another E! True Hollywood story on mom's who go ape shit. Today happened to be one of those days.
Is it too early for a glass of wine?
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